The Final Serious Talk

Having learned by this time not to push anything, other than saying that the night had been fun, a few nights later we were in the hot tub, drinking, and we got to discussing our goals for an upcoming trip (yes Mardi Gras again).. I told her one of mine for her to get body painted, and another was a photo of her with a different guy kissing each nipple at the same time. Later she said, “And if we want to bring someone back to the room with us, can we?” I didn’t take the bait.
“We’ll have our friends with us.”
“We just need to leave them alone and go off by ourselves sometime,” she said. Then she started thinking about a family relation who has said that they might be attending, “We’d have to do it before they get there!”
Somewhere in the conversation I reminded her of her saying that she would be intimidated if I were there. I told her, “Well I’ve given it some thought, and I would want to be there for the first time to be sure you were safe, then I’d have no problem going to another room or downstairs and leaving a video camera on so you could really let go without me there.” She didn’t answer.
When we went inside I suggested a DVD, and told her to pick it. Surprisingly she put in, “Black Cocks in White Holes”, and as we watched a white girl being fucked by three large black guys at the same time, she was kinda quiet, commenting at times, “Damn they are all so bigg!” and she wasn’t saying it to me directly, just commenting.
I began touching her as she watched, and out of the blue, she asked, “Did you say you’re talking to a black guy that wants to come fuck me?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said, “he’s British, and all I know is he’s 6’4” and says he has a 10” cock.”
She started going down on me at this point.
A day or two later, in the hot tub, drinking, which is our common way of starting a sexual evening, and where she often lets the real erotic side of her open up. The talk got pretty hot. We started fucking in the tub, and she arched her back pulling backwards and in doing so I pull out.
“Sorry,” I said, “I’m just not 12”.
“I think I’m ready for that now, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”
“What, fucking someone with a 12” cock?” I asked.

“Yes.”
“Why?”

“Well I’ve realized I’ve been waiting for four years for my friend on the phone to come back and do me, but now I know it is not going to happen.” (This is the guy she was calling behind my back.).
So I simply let it drop.
At Mardi Gras she showed me her costume, which was harem pants and she said she might wear a thong underneath. “Can’t ,” I told her, “You were those with a thong you’ll end up getting fingered.”