Saturday, July 26, 2014

Time slips away

Wow! Hard to imagine it has been over a year and a half since the last post. For one thing as we age we are discovering the drive for exploration is not as intense as it was. That doesn't mean the desire is not there, but between family, real life, and the difficulty in finding real hookups it is much tougher than the fantasy writers in some of the forums would have you think.

On one side since her meeting with her regular in November of 2012 we have only played three times, with a forth time coming up. All with the same guy. The reasons are many different reasons but one is that the traditional ways of meeting people when we were in the lifestyle before the break was pretty straightforward--ads on swinger sites and a couple of lifestyle forums. When we went back to the same things, the responses were dismal. I guess more people are going to social media, but with our need for discretion that is not a viable way for us.

Her new guy we met while on vacation, and after our own personal pub crawl last year we went on to Craiglist and put an ad, and the next day answered some of the likely responses--and then later that evening we met for a drink--which ended up with her getting one of the best fucking of her life. Her guy from November, the only holdover from when we were active in the lifestyle who was still playing, she was OK, but he is always emotionally distant, even though he has a porn-star size dick.

This new guy was almost as big and maybe a little thicker (she says). And he was attentive, long on kissing, foreplay, extended fucking, and concentrating on getting her off several times before he cane. What she loves--right down to the cuddling afterward.

We made plans to meet later in the year--but he had a family member die.

Life threw us some curves in between then and vacation this year, and she anxiously asked if I had heard from him, and I told her I had.

I asked her how she would refer to him? Lover or?

"Boyfriend," she said. "My black boyfriend."

Later when I mentioned it again referring to him as her boyfriend she backed off. "A boyfriend is someone who takes you out on a date, has dinner with you. He's more of a fuck buddy." I reminded her he had met us for dinner in public. "That's true," she said, adding nothing more.

Based in her reaction compared with her other black lovers, I think boyfriend is a better term, so I will refer to him as that. She gives him all the emotional and physical attributes that come with it although she doesn't really want to admit it. Her check-off list for the type of man she likes all fit him: tall, very black, big thick cock, long lasting, attentive, and eager to fuck her. No compromises with him on what she likes--he's the package.

So this year we met him again--early in the evening without going out to dinner. She wore a sexy bustier under her clothing, and within minutes of sitting down on the couch, before I could even get a camera turned on, they were locked in an embrace. They made out and slowly progressively undressed each other, until finally he was nude, she only had the bustier on, and he was sucking on her breasts in a way that I know from experience lights her up. I told her later that he is one of the few lovers she has had that likes her tits as well as I do.

She sucked his cock eagerly, and then he wanted her to stand up on the couch as he sat there and with her leaning over him ate her pussy while she stood over him, grinding her pussy into his mouth. He pulled her down on to his lap, his black cock standing straight up, and as she lowered herself she moved her body--not so that he could enter her--because she had specified condoms only--but so that she could rub her pussy over his bare cock, rubbing his cock shaft between her pussy lips and over her clit. She told me later that she had been very tempted to guide him inside her bareback, but she had second thoughts at the last moment she moved his cock to the side and sat the rest of the way down on his lap.

"I want your pussy," he said.
"It's yours." she answered. He whispered something in her ear that I couldn't hear, and the then said, "I want to be your slut. I will be your slut for the evening."

When they stood to go into the bedroom he had her take his cock in her hand and lead him into the bedroom by his cock. With a start like that you know the sex was damn near earth shattering, and it was, both of them going at it like hungry rabbits once he got a condom on.

At one point he pulled her up on him and stood, fucking her standing as she hung on to him with her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist, and his cock buried in her. He moved her to the wall and fucked her against the wall for a while too before putting her back down on the bed, moving her to doggie position facing a mirror and telling her to watch herself get fucked.

The summation of this night is they fucked--and fucked--and fucked--and he left her satiated and weak several hours later.

She wanted to see him again before we left, which we had not talked about, but later in the week it was a return engagement.

He had been so close to getting his cock in her bare (which he obviously wanted to do), that this night as they ended up naked on the bed, with her stroking his cock, he moved into position to fuck her, only inches away from her pussy with his bare hard cock, and his cock was aimed directly at her now soaked pussy. As he moved forward she reached to his cock. I fully expected from the way she was into the moment that she would guide him inside her, but she moved it up between them and they kissed a while, and she explained that if he wanted to fuck her bare she was willing once he got tested. He nodded, rose off of her and holding his cock at the base began to beat on her pussy and click with his cock. When he held her pussy lips apart with one hand while he slapped his cock on her open clit she started cumming, and he didn't do just that, he rubbed the head of his cock up between her pussy lips, getting enough of her moisture on her clit, that mixed with his pre-cum when he pulled his cock off her in an upward stroke of his cock slapping her pussy there was a enough sticky clear fluid that it stuck and stretched thin before breaking between their two bodies.

Finally he straightened up, pulled a rubber on and fucked her long and hard.

When she and I watched the video afterward she remarked, "Wow. I didn't know he was doing that without a condom."

"Well you told him the next time we met him after he was tested that he could do you bareback," I reminded her.

"I know. Who in the world wants to use a condom unless you have to. I want to feel him cum inside me." she said.

In the past few weeks he and I have texted, and his tests are all OK, and he's ready to meet when we are--so that is coming up. Not only that but we have one promising contact from another source that too seems to be the perfect fit. So suffice to say I may have more to post in the near future. Thanks to those of you who have stayed with us on this blog despite the long break.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Back in Black

It wasn't an elaborate evening, but after a long hiatus she has once again enjoyed the sensation of a long, thick black cock entering her body. She had selected the regular from her past exploits that she was familiar with, was reliable about meeting when he said he would meet, and incidentally had the longest, thickest cock of any of her past partners.

The eagerness that lit up after her hesitant lead-up was something to behold. When she wrapped her hand around his cock she was sucking him in seconds, with moans mixed with grunts of desire. Turned on and wanting it was an understatement.

I'll elaborate in detail after the holiday.

Her word to describe it was "intense".

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Back In The Wild Life Again

Short version is she is going to get black fucked tomorrow night for the first time in almost two years. 

The lover is one she has been with a few times, and I did note the guy she had chosen just happens to be the one with by far the largest cock. She remarked, "Any woman who tells you size doesn't matter is lying."

I am counting nothing official until it happens, having been on this roller coaster for a while now, but this time she has refined what she wants to do and how to handle it. 

She says she has had her fill of dealing with reading the guy's emails, talking on the phone prior, dealing with the no shows and having all the apprehension and tension leading up to the actual meeting. Now how she wants to handle it is she wants me to set it up.

"You know what I like," she said. And I do. 

We also understand what caused us stopping. A series of weird guys (one who quit in mid-fuck because I was taking photos--as I had clearly said I would be doing), a no-show, some regulars being distracted when they met with her, and on top of that our becoming a caregiver for a family member, and having only one day a month in which we might be able to meet someone. We were forcing ourselves to meet, as if we didn't meet that day we would have to wait a month or so, never mind that we were exhausted from caregiving. 

But all that has changed. The hotel is rented, she is on board and looking forward to it, and a second guy a few days after that is meeting us for drinks.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Cautiously forward

I had ordered her some sheer tops, a fishnet stretch top that could double as a swimsuit (makes her look clothed at a distance so the neighbors don't freak when we are getting in and out of our back yard hot tub). She had been away a couple of days and as she came back I noticed she was bare. I touched her and she was smooth--I mean smooth as her cheek. "I got waxed," she said. "I did it for you."

It was nice to see her doing one of the first steps in what we had talked about her doing for me. Later I took a rub-on queen of spades tattoo and put it on her pussy. "It's big," she commented once I had it applied.
She left it that for a few days, until it started crumbling--and then she mentioned, "I'm not sure I want one permanently." I'll be fair, I went into a snit. There is a part of me that thinks if she can't do a big stretch for me on something like this--something that I said would be intimate and a secret between us, then how much could I ever trust on something else.

Later that night she said, "Well if I was with a black guy and he saw that tat, then it wouldn't be intimate just between us."  Later in the conversation, pretty well one-side as I was fighting sleep, she added, "You know if something happened to you and I was with someone else and they saw the tattoo they would know I had been with black men."

My first thought that I didn't speak was, "So?", and then the more I thought about it was again her dishonesty--she would like about it to someone else if she had a new suitor if something happened to me. I just shake my head sometimes.

I came home a day later and she had thick steaks, a bottle of one of our very favorite wines that we only use on special occasions, and I asked the occasion. She had attended a class in which the subject was introspective, along the lines of doing what you promise you will do. She was a total peace with going forward--with the tat, and the rest, and told me so. "I told you I would and I will."

On a related note, I was surfing some x-rated tube sights, opened a couple of different wife-with-black-guy ones, was watching them, and at one point I said to myself, "That black guy's voice sounds familiar." I kept watching and sure enough it was her former porn-star lover--the one guy she has already said she was willing to play with--and the one person who responded back and said he was ready any time but to just let him know so he wouldn't have a conflict. (It would appear he is is demand for this type of thing).

I watched a second one whose title sounded interesting--a heavy role playing one--and sure enough, her guy again. The biggest thing was that hit me was that he had always used condoms with us--but in all of the videos he was going bareback.

Not sure why but it made me pause, and something in my gut says he may not be the right guy to start back with.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Trauma, Drama, and Black Dick?

A few months back I had backed way off mentioned her starting back in the interracial lifestyle. We were both in a hole emotionally, her weight was up, which made her feel bad, and outside stresses were hammering us. So in a hotub drinking moment I asked her if she was able to be with her favorite lover again would she start back. She didn't answer.

The next morning I sobered up and told her that I had been insane to even suggest it and to not take what I said seriously.

Let me recap about her favorite lover.
She had met him with me on a trip in a town in which we overnighted. We had met online. On our return she wanted to be with him again. Three months later -- even though we had plans to be with him in a month -- she invited him to our home while I was out of town on business. She fucked him for 2 nights in every room in our house, bareback, and never let me know. I discovered it when he emailed her photos of them together in my home and she accidentally left her computer on.

It was a painful time that I didn't understand. Still don't. It didn't make sense then, and doesn't make sense now, on why she would do him behind my back when she could do him without objection in front of me.
She thinks I'm stupid enough to believe it was not an assault on me or our marriage.

Months later I discover that she has recruited her brother into a plot to continue communication with him, having a separate cell phone (which I found), again another round. At one point I went to a lawyer and bought wardrobe boxes at U-haul in which to pack her clothes. I had even considered having her stuff loaded and packed in one of our vehicles when she returned from out of town.

But as we are wont to do I accepted the pleas and promises of "I'll never do it again," "I'll make it up to you," and all that.

Back to the Present
So she had started back working out, we had been doing more role playing about her with black men again, and she has regained her libido--thanks to some natural body evolving and some hormonal therapy.

He comes up in the conversation and she says, "He told me he should apologize to you." That's when I picked up on it.

"When did he tell you this?" She started stammering. I got louder and more demanding for answers.
I won't go through the exchange, no need for that but the reality is she has continued to talk to him since cheating on me. Off and on, more just to keep in touch, some messaging, and I went back for over a year on the phone records. (Yes, she had used her cell phone this time). They had talked last October for 20 minutes, a half hour in December, then in March of this year for 30 minutes, and in May for 2 hours. That was when she told him she thought I would be willing to go along with their meeting again.

This time I told her that I figured I'd just leave. I didn't want to, but this wasn't worth the bullshit. I told her this time to say something different than the promises and words she had lied before. She didn't have anything to say that she had not already said and lied about in the past. The funny thing was from my side I didn't have the emotion. I didn't blow up, scream, cry, feel much. I was more numb than anything. And incredulous that she was this damn stupid overall. 

In my opinion this is a clear cut plot and conspiracy.

We had a drive back home and this time I told her I wanted he to do some things for me because I wanted to do them. For me. She wanted to know what I wanted. My list was short. Stay shaved. Get back into the interracial lifestyle from time to time. Dress hotter. Back to wearing her ankle chain with the Q and spade. I wanted to watch her with 2 black men at once. I wanted a tat on her shoulder. And the kicker I wanted a Queen of spades tat on her pussy. A real tat.

She said she would.

I was ok with that. With that kind of distraction and taking the less uphill road I could hang around. I live my life by my standards, not someone elses, and I really didn't want to go, I just want to be treated like I am appreciated. I would not make a good cuck.

And yes, my limit is on the razors edge of taking a hike right now.

Again after thinking about it for a day or two, I had more questions. And with a couple of drinks I sat her down and asked her, "You kept up contact when you said you wouldn't, you told me you were not in contact with him so my wishes didn't mean anything. You wanted to meet him. He wanted to meet you. It doesn't make sense that you didn't do him more that you told me. Tell me the truth."

She hesitated again, and I asked her with a very loud and determined, "Tell me the Damn truth."

Come to find out that after the first time, and after I found the pix that she had met him three months later for an overnight in a motel, and five months later, again for an overnight, but this time she got there early, they checked in in early afternoon, ordered food in, and fucked for all afternoon and through the night.
And yes, she did tell him she loved him.

So I guess the big question is am I insane for staying?  It is comfortable here. I have no expectations behind her being a slut, and being able to enjoy that part of her from time to time.  Other than her honesty about her fucking behind my back she's an ok wife.

I do want to see here with the tats, and doing a couple of guys at once, and I figure I'll re-evaluate after that happens. If it doesn't happen -- well that has its own set of answers.

I guess the next couple of months will be interesting.

And on another note she asked me to contact one of her old lovers, the porn-star huge one that hurts in certain positions, the only one of her old lovers (other than her cheating partner) that she wants to do. I contacted him, he is still in the game, and looks forward to reintroducing a hot white wife to black dick.
That could happen on a week's notice, but we have houseguests over the holiday, so everything is on hold for the moment.

That's the update. Big changes for me. Would love to hear some of your opinions--especially about my sanity in all this.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Positive statement

There has been a near total change in the last few weeks. She's started feeling better, has been hitting the gym on a regular basis, is logging into a calorie counter site a couple of times a day, and is shedding some weight. "I feel the best I have in over a year," she says. She things the hormonal surges, ebbs and flow of menopause are passed, and then she hit me with the shocker. As she told me:

"You not going to believe this but today I was in the post office and I saw this black guy he was so hot that I got wet looking at him. He was my ideal in a lover, very tall, very black, bald head. He was taking to a woman who had asked him directions, but I wanted to talk to him. I wanted him."

I asked her, "So you really prefer very tall guys?" She had said he was about 6' 7".

"Yeah, they have bigger dicks," she said.

Then I threw in the question that had been building for a while.

"Do you think that you're ever going to fuck another lover again?"

"What?" she asked, from shock more than anything. She heard me.

"Do you see us only fucking each other for the rest of our lives, and you not having anyone else inside you other than me?"

"No." She said. "I see me fucking other men sometime." I smiled. "But that doesn't mean I want you starting up an ad and asking for potential men to email, etc."

I had figured out my role in this actually--which is no role. "No, I'm not in this as far as pushing, enabling, or anything else. When you want to you can, and I stay in the background."

As we were having this conversation she was astride my cock and I was holding both her breasts, and I could feel her pussy soak as she said all that. The conversation faded away pretty quick after that though, we became distracted.

Friday, March 30, 2012

A Journey's curves, missed connections, and traffic jams

Imagine you are actively involved in the lifestyle of hotwifing, specifically interracial hotwifing, and everyone is apparently having a great time. And then one day it hits a wall--and your wife has no interest, even to the point of being angry if you mention it (you're pushing at that point).

So she's lost interest in playing, and the agreement has always been if one of you wanted to stop then it stopped. It is her body so she certainly has that right. (Of course you do recall the time that she said if you wanted to stop at that particular time in the past that she wouldn't).

That is what happened to us. I didn't understand it at the time, handled it poorly, which increased the anger and then to compound the problem she lost all interest in sex period. Suffice to say there was quite a bit of adjustment on my end. I didn't understand--I was too close to it.
Now I have a better understanding, and my wife seems to understand it more and our communication is much better. Here's our analysis at what happened.

First it was her age, early 50's by then, still very hot looking, in good shape--and then menopause. i.e. goodbye libido. That would end things for nearly anyone. But that doesn't come on instantly, it is a gradual decline. Meanwhile as that was happening we had a death in the family.

In addition to the grief associated it also meant we became a part-time caregiver for a family member, and it was time consuming and exhausting. We were still trying to maintain the once every 4-6 weeks of her meeting a lover, which meant we had very brief windows in which it could happen. She is tired, need rest, wanting to sleep for a day, and instead she feels like she has to take advantage of the brief window for a meeting. Circumstances are forcing it.

Throw into the mix that we had advanced in the lifestyle as you can read in past posts, from a casual meeting and going home to hosting lovers in our home, in her going out on a date, and going bareback with a couple of trusted regulars. She had even fucked one pickup in a hotel bar who brought his friend along, and he watched, took some photos with an extra camera I had, and would have enjoyed her too and did get started on a good blow job when his friend passed out cold. The standard meetings were still good. "The sex was incredible," my wife still says. But there was getting to be a routine in it too. On one of our last meetings with one of her lovers I remember thinking--where do we go from here, and is this going to continue with a lot more of the same going in basically the same 1. 2. 3. 4. steps of kissing, oral, blow-job, sex, hug-goodbye.
The excitement had worn off to a point. Still great, but not as great.

She had a couple of non-life threatening muscle/joint chronic pains that kept her in constant pain in the middle of all this too.

With all that working against us, we took a week off on a busman's holiday to Vegas. I had a couple of new guys lined up from our contact online hook-up site. We've emailed, texted, on a regular basis, up to a few hours before we're supposed to meet. Nothing. The other guy falls off the map.

Call it a perfect storm but the summation of it, according to my wife was, "This is just no fun anymore. We need to take a break." And we have done just that.

My response has evolved as well. Now my stance is "it's your body, no one wants you to do something you don't want to do, and certainly if you do not have the desire to do so. But if you do want to, you know I'm ok with it."

On our journey we are on the same page at the moment. It took a while to get here. With things on an even keel, where is it going to go from here in regards to the theme of this blog?
I don't know, we're rolling with it, not against starting again if and when she wants to. There are a couple of other statements along this line but I'll put them in a future post soon.

Meanwhile, if you would like to predict where you see things going, I'd be glad to see your comments on it.