Thursday, July 10, 2008

Camming and The Decision

We eventually got beyond the betrayal of trust, although it was a set-back and we certainly not expanding our sexual adventures in any way, but instead going back and trying to rebuild.
Then I bought a webcam. I showed her how to webcam, which she did sometimes until Yahoo stopped letting members set up private chat rooms.
She would go into a chat room and let as many as 30 guys watch her strip and fuck herself with a big black dildo. She was careful to not show her face. At other times she would cam one on one and would show her face and watch the guys play with their cocks as they watched each other. She seemed to enjoy doing it more with hung black guys. They were much easier to get online to cam than white guys, who always seem to want to talk for an hour first.
She has said at different times that Denzel Washington, Prince, or Lenny Kravitz are among the sexiest guys she’s ever seen, and would do any of them in a heartbeat. Funny thing is I’ve never heard her say that about a white guy.
When black athletes came on TV and reveal a rock hard torso more than once she has just taken a gasp of air and said, “Wow.” I didn’t comment, just salted the thought away. I knew she had a curiosity about black guys, but she didn’t talk about it.
Sometimes she would remark, “Yeah, that one could fuck me.” But then she says one night as I am setting things up, “The only guys that want to cam with me are black guys, I don’t know why I’m not appealing to white guys.” Of course based on her earlier statements one reason was she got more turned on with black guys, and when I would pick a chat room while she was putting on her make-up for camming I would usually surf an interracial room. Black guys tend to say “Turn on your cam and let’s play” while most white guys tend to want to talk about it for 10 minutes, which frankly bores my wife.
One night she picked an Italian guy to cam with 1 on 1, and for the first time she started voice chatting with him over Yahoo. This happened with him three or four times. After the third time of camming she had joked about meeting him when he came to the US for a business trip. I also gave him my Yahoo account name he and I chatted several times. He was serious about coming to fuck my wife when he was next in the US and I was curious to see where it would go. During one of the early conversations he said, “Let’s be friends.”
I responded, “Since you will probably be fucking my wife soon that’s a great idea.” I found out his schedule, and we started planning the logistics. He would come over New Years. It was a subject of hot conversation with her and I on how we would bring in the New Years in a special way.
Several times I asked her, “What are you going to do if he really comes here expecting you to be with him?”
“Then you’d better be reserving a hotel room” was her reply.
“You mean it? You are sober now,” I said.
“I know I’m sober, and I mean it.”
She asked how it would work and I had it pre-planned in my mind, and she agreed. We’d meet in a hotel bar, she’d be dressed really hot, we’d have a nice dinner, and if the vibes were right we’d take it farther. I’d be there to photo and video, and he would leave that night and go back to his room so we could talk it out. The next day if things were ok I would cut the video camera on and leave them alone for a fuck.
Of course we are talking reality here, and before it could happen he stopped talking to her on cam, and we later found out he had a car wreck that had make it impossible for him to come to meet my wife. After what I called the “near miss” she went back to saying, “Well it is for the best, because I am not sure I would have gone through with it.”
The one thing I keep remembering though is the day she came to me with a calendar and said, “We’ve got a problem. I think I’m having my period during New Years this year.”
When I told her he had changed his schedule and was coming a couple of weeks later she simply said, “Good.”
But unbeknownst to me at the time there is this one rule I’d heard about women but didn’t have in place, and that is once they have made the decision to do something, then the real hurdle is over. Once she had decided she would meet this Italian guy, the idea that she would or would not meet someone else had already been decided. She would do it. Although the wheel would turn a few times before it became reality.
Looking back I don’t think either one of us recognized it at the time, but subconsciously she was already fucked…it was just finding the right man and opportunity for it to happen.

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