Repeatedly it was, "I'm so through with that," or "I'm in a different place now."
So it was a surprise the other night when we started talking about it again, and I explained that what I missed most about it was just her open attitude toward sex, toward how she dressed, how she was smiling all the time, feeling good. That is not what is happening now--not to mention she was horny all the time, thinking about black cock a lot.
In the course of our talking she said that she didn't want to do someone older than her. I pointed out that every man she had been with had been younger, a few substantially younger.
She paused and smiled as she thought about that. "That's right."
And I went on to say that it was totally her call if she wanted to, I wasn't pushing, but if she wanted to I was for it because of the results I had seen in her in the past.
"I never said that I would never," she said, quietly, and I didn't rise to the bait.
"That's not a no," I said.
"No it isn't."
Inside we did a role play along that line, her talking about a black guy she had danced with in a bar before we actually got to doing things for real. "I wish I had done him," she said, "but we weren't ready to do that then."
As she continued talking, guiding me inside her, we slowly enjoyed the sex without speaking, and then I said, "Can you say that you will never fuck anyone else, never fuck another black man?"
"I certainly hope that I will sometime," she smiled.
And since that conversation her entire demeanor has changed. She has spring in her step, started a serious diet, is planning on working out more...I think things are looking up.