This is the end, my only friend, the end.

A journey begins with the first step--and many a journey will end. And it looks like the journey for this one particular hot wife has ended.

The reasons are several. She feels she's getting too old, and about a year ago menopause started, and a resulting thickening through her middle which depressed the hell out of her, and while I thought at first she had no interest in doing other black men, or other men, the reality was she had lost all interest in sex at all. No libido.

I had a horrible time trying to understand while this oversexed woman that I knew lurked just under the surface, that I had seen glimpses of for years, and then one day suddenly burst forth in an explosion of slutness like I had only dreamed, had no lost all interest in sex.

She didn't refuse to do it. But the enthusiasm went away. She tried doctor after doctor. I tried all the little tricks that used to always work. Nothing worked.

And she became more open an honest about why she had wanted to stop hotwifing, and in particular meeting black men. "The sex was unbelievable," she admitted. The problem was all the crap that one has to go through to get to that point. She never like sorting through the responses. She worried about rejection, was extremely nervous on first meetings, and the killer came when she had four particular favorites of the 11 black men she had enjoyed.

One, her first interracial experience, had a meet set-up and failed to meet, texting he was trying to get away as late as 10 minutes before--and was seen later the next day with another woman. (He said she had arrived unexpected). Of course this is also the guy who told us he had only played with one other couple other than his wife, the excuse for going bareback.

No. 2 She had enjoyed a lot, seemed like a good regular, and after three last minute cancellations she said, "If he cancels this time, that's it." And he did. Off the list.

No. 3 We met twice, she loved fucking him, he was her only uncut lover, and she loved sucking his uncut cock. We set up a third meeting, everything was arranged, and we were an hour into the trip--and he texts he can't meet because he has to meet his accountant to do his taxes. (No, I could not make this shit up). He went off the list.

No. 4 The lover she had seen the most. Overnighted twice, left my bed to go fuck him and wake him up once, took her out on a date. The last time the spark wasn't there--he was so thin she said he felt like a teenager (not a turn on for her). And the final killer is that last fuck, in the morning, as he was fucking her his cell phone goes off. And the party calls back 3 times. During the fuck. As soon as he cums (bareback), he pulls out and goes straight to the phone.

As my wife said afterward, "It just wasn't fun anymore. I just did it the last few times for your benefit--and then I realized that this was my body and I didn't have to do that."

I told her that this was for her enjoyment, and if she had stopped enjoying it--well it was probably time to stop. I honestly had to admit that the last couple of times it seemed redundant, wasn't as exciting to watch, and I was running over in my mind, "where do we take it from here."

I had wanted her to make it an even dozen different black guys (although she did suck an even dozen different black cocks), and I had wanted to watch her with two black guys (which was a near miss, two guys in the room, naked, and her willing. But it didn't happen).

So the final talk on the subject with her, "I love role playing it, we can fantasize about it, I still love the idea of it, it is a turn on better than any other, but I know the reality is just not as much fun. But it turns me off if it feels like you are pushing me to do it again." She said that the fantasy of it was hot. The reality of it--was now a complete turn off.

So much that she even refuses to watch a video of her with one of her lovers. And she said that despite what we said, there was a huge emotional toll on her mentally. "You can't help it when you have sex with someone regularly to not develop some attachment," she said, adding, "In ways I had to quit."

I'm not a complete idiot--if it is a turn off, no need to pursue it. I did admit to her that I was somewhat confused about how to talk about her doing black guys in a role play or fantasy and her not think I was pushing her to do it for real. So we finally came up with a safe word. We can talk about it all we want, say whatever we want. But neither of us is to take it as something to do for real unless we are a.sober and b.use the safe word to prove we are serious.

It is working for the moment. She knows that anytime she wants to, she can use that safe word, tell me she wants do, and we go again. Frankly I don't expect it.

"We've done that," is her repeated statement every time it came up prior to the safe word being added.

So like all journeys that start, many of them end. It was a great 4 years. I was able to watch her fulfill her fantasy and fuck 11 different black men, suck off 12 black men and 2 other white men, get picked up in a bar, go out in public alone with a black man on a date, go out with me and a black man to a strip club with it obvious that she was the black man's for the night. Enjoy two men at once (although one was me). And I was able to enjoy her wearing a Q and Spade ankle bracelet, sometimes a Q of spades rub on tattoo on her ankle, in public, a lot. I was able to enjoy her getting her nipples pierced, although that only lasted about 6 months.

And along with the fun I also suffered through the pain of being lied to, cheated on, lied to some more, and in more ways that one treated like a fucking fool. Perhaps in that regard I was a fool.

But we survived it all, to get to the end of this journey. Maybe it is not the end, but a milepost.

But it sure feels like the end. And the beginning of a totally different journey.

When we first started I had told her, "We don't want to be rocking on the front porch in our old age and say, 'I wish we had done...". And I also would add, "It will be more fun if we are able to say, 'damn, wasn't it hot when you were....'." Well we have that.

Would I do it again. Hell yes. Would still be doing it if I though she was willing, really wanted to and could handle it emotionally.

I will leave this blog up. It is the chronicle of a journey, and as such can stand on it's own. It is a testament to reality that couples can do this, survive the crap, enjoy a lot of it, and then go back to a normal life (whatever that is).

So enjoy it for what it is. And if you will, pardon me because there is a still hot woman rocking on the front porch and there is an empty rocking chair beside her waiting for me.

Patience, and evolution of things

If you have followed this blog since the beginning, or are just now catching up and getting this far, this truly is a hotwife's journey. And like all journey's sometimes you cannot predict the turns, roadblocks, or what is around the next corner.

I've reported here every time she has started acting like she was getting interesting in getting back into sexual things--but the problem is she is not just not interesting in fucking anyone else, but she is not interested in fucking. And it has been a problem.

At my request when she had her annual checkup she asked the doctor, and he said, "Let me give your husband a one word answer--'romance'." (Yeah, and instant diagnosis by an idiot in my opinion). While I have stepped up the romance, I've also backed off any reference to hot wifing, frankly hoping that would work.

We laid off sex for a while, I stopped pursuing hoping it might force her to perk up some, and for the first time in a long time we started into foreplay and she asked, "Let's do a black guy role play." And we did and she started talking dirty right in the middle of it. It was great. Past experience had taught me to give her time before suggesting anything like that again--so I was very surprised when a couple of days later she asked for the same thing again.

Earlier in the evening we were talking and I told her that she was a beautiful, sexy woman and there was nothing that would change that--and she was still very desirable but she acted like she didn't know it anymore.

Later in the conversation I told her that if she never did anyone else again that was ok, but she had stopped being the best she could be.

She paused and said, "You right. I have quit trying. This is a turning point for me."

I added, "and if you never want to do black guys again that is ok, I just want you perked up."

Then she threw out, "I never said I wouldn't do a black guy again--I think I will at some point."

Then I also added something I had been thinking about for some time. "You know if you do want to do someone else you can, I don't have to be there."

"Well that has been a problem at times," she said.

"The only stipulation is I have to know about it--no deceit."

"OK, and you know you have that same freedom."

I think we officially have an open marriage. So a time for patience.

I guess we'll see how much if any of these casual conversations will actually turn into anything.

I'll post here if it does.

A Thawing of the cold

We're still on the hormonal roller coaster, and we have not talked about anything outside of our own sexual lives in past months. She wasn't interested in watching any videos of her with other men with me, she did not even want to talk about it.

Repeatedly it was, "I'm so through with that," or "I'm in a different place now."

So it was a surprise the other night when we started talking about it again, and I explained that what I missed most about it was just her open attitude toward sex, toward how she dressed, how she was smiling all the time, feeling good. That is not what is happening now--not to mention she was horny all the time, thinking about black cock a lot.

In the course of our talking she said that she didn't want to do someone older than her. I pointed out that every man she had been with had been younger, a few substantially younger.

She paused and smiled as she thought about that. "That's right."

And I went on to say that it was totally her call if she wanted to, I wasn't pushing, but if she wanted to I was for it because of the results I had seen in her in the past.

"I never said that I would never," she said, quietly, and I didn't rise to the bait.

"That's not a no," I said.

"No it isn't."

Inside we did a role play along that line, her talking about a black guy she had danced with in a bar before we actually got to doing things for real. "I wish I had done him," she said, "but we weren't ready to do that then."

As she continued talking, guiding me inside her, we slowly enjoyed the sex without speaking, and then I said, "Can you say that you will never fuck anyone else, never fuck another black man?"

"I certainly hope that I will sometime," she smiled.

And since that conversation her entire demeanor has changed. She has spring in her step, started a serious diet, is planning on working out more...I think things are looking up.

Things turning

The past few months have been totally absent of any hotwife activity. Worse that that she went through a period in which, by her own words, "I have no interest in sex anymore, I don't know why."

That frustration on my part got to the point that she would react negatively to any suggestion of anything more than straight sex. On more than a few nights what would start out as a romantic intended evening with drinks in the hot tub would turn into a screaming argument, and both of us going to bed mad.

Last week was the worst. I told her I wanted my wife back, not the woman who was here now. We let the liquor and our mouths run too much. I stormed in, went to bed, and after waiting for her to come to bed, I got up and found her in the extra bedroom.

We had agreed years ago that no matter how mad we were we wouldn't do something like that, and would always go to sleep in the same bed. "We agreed we'd never do this," I said, and went back to bed. When I woke up she was in the bed beside me.

The amazing thing is how a week can change things. The subject came up coming back from dinner, and I told her that since she said she could take it or leave (sex that is), but that once she got into it she was very responsive, then she should not object to anything I wanted to do sexually--as she would get into it once we got started. I specifically said this excluded anything with other people.

"It's not physical response, it is emotional," I told her.

"I know, and I'm working on that," she said. "It is hormonal. You don't understand that."

"I don't want to hear about hormones," I responded. "I want to hear a 'whore's moan.'" She laughed out loud at that. And it seemed to break the ice.

"Tonight is going to be a good night," she promised.

So last night we are in the hot tub, with drink, talking about the day's events, family, work, etc. and we got around to sex.

"I've been thinking about sex again," she said. I was stunned, and very happy.

She went on to tell me that she had been thinking about last year about this time. This was when we had one of her favorite lovers share a cabin with us. He slept in the other bedroom, and the next morning she left my bed early to go get in the bed with him. I left them alone and didn't enter the room until they had already started fucking. For some reason it is especially erotic to watch her walking out our bedroom door, knowing that she's going to another man's bed to fuck him, a black man, and just before she goes out the door she turns and gives me a special smile.

The fact that she was thinking about it again is a major turning point to a return to the lifestyle.

I was curious about the change, and she told me that over the past few months when she saw a black guy she felt nothing, no interest, no intrigue, nothing. Prior to that, she told me, she was always checking out hot black guys, flirting, wondering what it would be like to fuck them.

"Last week when we were at the trade show, a really hot black guy inquired where he could find a particular booth, where a mutual friend was working. He was so hot.
I would have done him right there."

That was the turning point evidently. "And that got me started thinking about Menard," she said. "I think we will invite him to join us at a cabin again," she said. "It's been a year since I've been with him."

I believe I will have a few more stories to relate in the near future, within a few weeks my hotwife is getting hot again.

No News at the moment

Nothing happening on the interracial score, although she is talking about it more. I think just needs the right man in the right situation -- but for the moment she's not interesting in seeking it, or me assisting in setting something up.

Reality and real life

When I started this blog real time--which some of you may find boring as we don't play as much as we like, and the more we have indulged, the intensity and desire has faded some as well.

Unless you do this for real it is hard to understand the time, work, and effort it takes to hook up with someone that fits with us based on her preferences for age, appearance, and attitude.

She likes tall, dark skinned black men, who are professional, courteous, 40 or more, flexible about getting together with us in locations outside our home town when we travel, and then can get creative in bed, comfortable with nasty talk and comfortable with a clothed husband photographing and filming. Throw that into a bundle and it gets to be a small group.

By the way, if you fit the above you probably should drop us a line.

But...and there's alway a but...

since day one our agreement about doing anything sexual in the hotwife and interracial lifestyles was if at any time either one of us wanted to stop, we stopped, full veto. Now in the meantime once she started she also declared that she was never stopping, so when questioned about the dual answers, the “I’m a woman, I have the right to change my mind,” answer appeared.

Our track record over the last 8 – 10 months hasn’t been that good. From a family crisis that took up a lot of time – not sexual related in any way but consuming time, energy, and opportunity to play—to feeling rushed and cramped it do something on the rare days available, it was tough for a hook-up.

By picking the advance dates we never knew the fatigue level, or horniness level, at the time we picked the date, and some times it was sex, and fun, but exhausting.

I was out of town for a few days, returned home, we went to the hot tub with drinks, and started talking. “I’ve been thinking, and I want to stop this interracial hotwife stuff,” she said. “I miss you and I want to get closer with you, without outside distractions.”

This hit me cold, and the reality that I like it as much as she does hit me. And that was going to change. My only response could be “OK, it’s your call.” She thanked me.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it, or role play it, or that I will never do it again,” she said. I left it at that.

So we're taking a break. A much needed break both physically, emotionally, mentally. We're reattaching to each other, because the lifestyle became too much a part of us.

It is not totally out of her mind. She still double takes good looking black men, still flirts with them, but we've taken down our ads on the swinging site, we're not pursuing anything. She has said "I wish I did have someone that would give me that release," but I get the feeling it would have to be spontaneous and he would have to basically stumble into us. If it happens, it does. If it doesn't, that's ok too.

This whole thing has never been an instead of, but more something new and different, something exciting--and for her it stopped being all of those.

I do suspect, and predict, that once she's had a good break, once our extended family crises are over and we can get back to normal, that her thoughts will drift back and there will be some playing. She has never said she wouldn't again, and at times said she would when she felt like it.

So this blog is going to take a different spin, after all it is, as the title says, a journey. We don't know where it ends, but we go there.

I will post when I have something to post, and in real time.

Last Black Fucking

After her lover left I reclaimed her with some sloppy seconds fucking. We dressed, went to dinner, had some drinks and came back, and in a while we heard him come into the room next door and after a minute or two he knocked on the connecting door.

Devin smiled and asked if she was ready, and told her he was going to take his clothes off. He stepped back into his room, and she stripped her clothes off and was standing there nude when he re-entered the room.

She was on the bed and he moved over her, kissing her while she held his cock with her right hand. He didn’t get hard quick so he started eating her pussy. Anna’s legs were giving little jerks as he did and she had a strange smile on her face, raising her pelvis to grind against his mouth. They intertwined hands and he held her hands as he did, before putting a finger inside her, rubbing her pussy and touching her g spot at the same time.

Anna loves this and was gasping and her body spasming with each touch, giving little yelps as she came.

Devin didn’t slow down, keeping right on bringing her to another orgasm, the movements of her body causing her breasts to sway enticingly. He rose to his knees, still eating her pussy, his fingers still inside her. He lowered her down, up between her widespread legs, moved up and positioned his cock at her pussy, removing his fingers and sliding inside her bareback.

Devin stroked his cock in and out of my wife in a slow steady movement, and she was stroking her hands over his ass as he did. He started fucking her faster, rocking her body with her legs in the air, leaning over to kiss her, moaning some himself, and looking down at his cock disappearing inside her.

He put his arms under her knees, pulled her knees up on either side of her chest, and kissed her hard on the mouth, breaking it to ask, “Feel it?”. She started moaning soft “oh, oh, oh’s”.

“Come on now,” he told her, fucking her in a hard rhythmic stroke, their bodies making popping sounds as he slammed into her.

Anna started playing with his nipples, which he likes, and he asked her to get on top.

When he rolled to his back instead of climbing on his cock she leaned over and sucked him. He was holding her hair behind her head so he could see her mouth on his cock, and he was moaning himself.

She moved over him as he positioned his cock, and she slid down on it, fucking him by thrusting her pelvis forward and staying down on his cock, rocking back and forth with his cock deep inside her, not stroking as much as rubbing, reaching behind to stroke his balls. He moved his hands from pulling on her nipples to rubbing her clit with his thumb, and so she was rocking and bouncing on her cock, moaning “Oh yess, Yess, Ohhh,” her breasts bouncing wildly as she did.

They looked in each other’s eyes as they fucked smiling at each other, and he held her breasts in his dark black hands. She moved faster until she came.

She leaned over on him in a smooth motion he rolled her to her back. She was still laying there with her legs spread, gasping for breath and he moved over her and put his cock back inside her.

He was fucking her hard, slamming their bodies together, and she was responding, moving faster and faster as he go ready to come. “Take it, Take it,” he told her. “Take my black come in that slutty pussy,” and she was lost in the pleasure of it, mewing and moaning, and then he just went all the way inside her and held his cock there as he came moaning. They both got quiet and held there.

He pulled out and raised back, and with his thumb reached down and touched her clit, parting her pussy lips to see the come oozing. “Oh baby,” he laughed. He told her to get some rest, and that he would hope for a knock at the door the next morning.

With the door closed she asked if I could see the come dripping out of her pussy, and I climbed on and fucked her for a very wet reclaiming fuck. As I entered her she said, “After tomorrow you will have got to fuck me three times with some else’s come in me.”


NEXT MORNING
I awoke with my wife getting out of the bed, going to the bathroom and showering. She came out of the shower wrapped in a towel, and looked over at me, weakly waving at me.

“What ‘ca doing?” I asked, still groggy from sleep, and she said nothing, just pointed toward the door toward which she was walking. Anna went straight to it, knocked, and it opened. I heard Devin’s greeting and she stepped through it out of site.
I lay there for a minute, listening for sounds and hearing none over the noise of the room air conditioner. I got up, went into the bathroom and splashed water in my face, gave them another minute or two and walked to the door myself, quietly peeking around the edge of it.

They did not know I was in the world. Anna was on her back, her knees up toward her shoulders, he was alternately kissing her and saying “Oh yes”, “Oh yes”. His ass was rising and falling in long steady strokes. He kissed her long and hard and raising on his knees pulled her legs straight and up to his shoulders. She hungrily kissed him back.

Anna loves this position and he held himself stationary while she fucked herself against him. He held onto her upper arms and she tugged against his thighs, keeping their body tight together.

She lowered her legs and he pulled out of her pussy and lowered his mouth to her, tugging on her nipples with his hands. Rising higher he moved his hands under her knees, holding her legs up, his hands on her shoulders, with her hands pulling against him at his waist.

He started pushing up the pace, telling her, “I’m gonna tear it up—such a hot pussy,” as he shot his come inside her.

“That was nice,” he said, stroking her face as he stayed inside her, still loving very slow, and started whispering to her softly and picking up the pace until he shot a second load into her and held himself inside her, recovering and again starting to fuck her again without pulling out, coming again before finally withdrawing and saying, “This is so good.”

“Do you have to go to work?” Anna asked.

He smiled, “No respite for the wicked.”

He left and we had my reclaiming fuck.

This is her most recent black fucking, and there's more to this story, and a new direction, next post.